Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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