I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
