just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize