I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he thought i was a dude.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
