Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
