I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
