what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
