I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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