either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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