Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
