as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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