he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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