I need help removing her.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
