Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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