I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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