Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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