How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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