so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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