i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
