Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
