Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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