..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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