Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
