Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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