dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
