Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
