He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
