So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
