No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
