the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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