I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
