Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
