1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize