I'm drive I can fine osifer
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize