I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
