you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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