marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
