it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize