Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
