I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
