I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
