You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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