He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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