Reggie can tackle my bush.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
