if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The power of my boobs compel you
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
