if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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