i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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