That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Ladies don't puke and tell
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
