i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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