you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
