Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My room smells like vodka and shame
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
