I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
