Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize