...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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