im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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