so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
