So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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