What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize