I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Girls should come with a carfax report
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
