seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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