i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
why is half of my head shaved?
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