Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
