I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
