Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
