What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
